Sookie Stackhouse's Facebook Feed
by Suki59
Summary: I thought you guys might want a peek at Sookie's Facebook page. I'll post it from time to time so you can keep up with what's going on with her. This is post Book 10.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Unfortunately, fanfiction's formatting isn't the same as that of a real Facebook page. If there's a blogger out there who'd like to post this in the correct (and hopefully, funnier) format, let me know. Oh, and I don't own these characters. Or Facebook.**

**Sookie Stackhouse's Facebook Feed**

**Bill Compton** was tagged in the album **tintypes I bought on ebay.**

**Felipe DeCastro** became a fan of **Fangtasia.**

**Eric Northman** and **4 others** like this.

**Barry Horowitz **removed **Rhodes** from the **Places I've Been** application.

**Eric** **Northman** wrote on **Sookie Stackhouse's** wall: Yield to me.

**Sookie Stackhouse **

Cut it out!

**Eric Northman **

LOL

**Pam Ravenscroft **

Get a room.

**Jason Stackhouse **

Ya'll are gross.

**Victor Madden** and **John Quinn** are now friends.

**Russell Edgington **Bubba rocked the house again last night.

**Sookie Stackhouse **

Do you know when he'll be playing again?

**Russell Edgington**

Check his myspace page for upcoming dates.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Thanks!

**Russell Edgington**

He does private shows too. Do you have a cat?

**Jebediah Bellefleur **and** Tolliver Humphries **were tagged in the album** tintypes I bought on ebay.**

**Jason Stackhouse**

Hey, aren't those guys dead?

**Bill Compton**

So am I!

**Mike Spencer**

Good one, Vampire Bill! hahahaha

**Sophie-Anne Leclerq** removed "Queen" from her Work and Education information.

**Bob Cataliades **posted an article: "The Intricacies of Preparing Wills of the Already Dead"

**Eric Northman**, **Bill Compton, **and **The Ancient Pythoness** like this.

**Jason Stackhouse** added **Tara Thornton** to the group **Chicks I Want to Bang.**

**Eric Northman **is no longer friends with** Andre Paul.**

**Alcide Herveaux **joined the group **Packmasters**.

**Debbie Pelt**

I heart you.

**Alcide Herveaux**

Go away.

**Alcide Herveaux** is no longer friends with **Debbie Pelt.**

**Niall Brigant **wrote on** Sookie Stackhouse's** wall: Do you have skype?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Yes, I am sstackhouse on skype. I'm mindreaderchick on twitter. Do you tweet?

**Niall Brigant**

Of course!

**Arlene Fowler** joined **The Fellowship of the Sun**.

**Pam Ravenscroft**, **Eric Northman**, and **Jake Purifoy** were tagged in the album **Pyramid of Gizeh Survivors.**

**Andy Bellefleur **is running for sheriff of **Renard Parish**.

**Maxine Fortenberry** and **Sterling Norris **like this.

**Amelia Broadway** just woke up from a nap.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Nobody cares, Amelia.

**Amelia Broadway**

Oh, hey, Pam! :D

**Calvin Norris **please vote for **Hotshot** to get free Wi-Fi. Details on my fb page.

**Crystal Norris **and **Maryelizabeth Norris** like this.

**Sam Merlotte** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: a shifter.

**Victor Madden** became a fan of **Fangbangers of Area 5**.

**The Fellowship of the Sun **says that vampires are an evil that needs to be removed from this earth. If you agree, copy and paste this to your status.

**Arlene Fowler** and **43,987** others like this.

View all 97 comments.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Can't we have a civil discussion about this?

**Arlene Fowler**

Your cooch stinks of vamp.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

I know where you all live.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sookie Stackhouse** make the color of your bra your facebook status today! White!

**Pam** **Ravenscroft **leopard print

**Kenya Jones **and **Kevin Prior** are in a relationship.

**Jake Purifoy** joined the group** New Vamps.**

**Sookie Stackhouse** wrote on **Eric Northman's** wall: Priests from the Church of the Living Spirit are HOT!

**Father Riordan** and **Father Littrell** like this.

**Alcide Herveaux** and **Annabelle Bannister** are in a relationship.

**Debbie Pelt**

*sad panda*

**Bill Compton**

I thought you turned into a lynx or something.

**Debbie Pelt**

ROFL

**Eric Northman**

No, Compton, Debbie is a were-weasel. LMFVAO

**Arlene Fowler **black lace

**Olive Trout** and **Julian Trout** became fans of **Channel 7 Eyewitness News**

**Jason Stackhouse**

What do ya'll shift into—fish? Hahahaha

**Sam Merlotte**

Like you've got room to talk, Stackhouse. You look more like a wookie than a panther. lol

**Alcide Herveaux**

You are all inferior to Weres.

**John Quinn**

*clears throat* Excuse me, litter-box breath?

**Sam Merlotte**

Quinn's pick-up line: Hey, babe, want a tiger in your tank?

**John Quinn**

LMFAO

**Alcide Herveaux** has abjured **John Quinn**.

**Sarah Newlin **red

**Sookie Stackhouse** and **Eric Northman** are now bonded.

**Jade Flower**

I thought you guys bonded in Rhodes. ?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

We did. I'm just now finding the button on here. I'm so fail!

**Clovache Zeerghtron **Multi-dimensionally translucent

**Jane Bodehouse** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: an alcoholic.

**Sam Merlotte** and **Holly Cleary** like this.

**Marni "Hallow" Stonebrook** joined the group **Fangbangers of Area 5**.

**Everett Chow**

You are not welcome in Fangtasia.

**Eric Northman**

Chow, do not f*ck with her, man.

**Steve Newlin**

You will both burn in hell.

**Lafayette Reynold** Purple!

**Clovache Zeerghtron **and **Batanya Fffumshoorton **were tagged in the album **2010 Britlingen Babes Calendar**

**Sookie Stackhouse**

You girls look all kinds of hot! Love it!

**John Quinn**

Do you have vaginas?

**Batanya Fffumshoorton**

Watch for throwing stars, Quinn.

**Clovache Zeerghtron**

Hahahaha. Good one, Batanya!

**John Quinn** became a fan of **2010 Britlingen Babes Calendar**.

**Maxine Fortenberry **Beige

**The Ancient Pythoness** don't know


	3. Chapter 3

**Amelia Broadway **started the group **Wiccans Suck.**

**Octavia Fant** and **12 others** like this.

**Holly Cleary**

Amelia, you have no room to talk

**Bob Jessup**

You have no idea, Holly.

**Sookie Stackhouse **and** The Long Tooth Pack **are now friends.

**Patricia Crimmins **joined the group** Veterans of the Were War.**

**Sookie Stackhouse **joined the group** Veterans of the Fae War.**

**Bill Compton **joined the group** Veterans of the Fae War.**

**Bill Compton **joined the group** Veterans of the Civil War.**

**Amelia Broadway **just saw the FUNNIEST tv commercial ever!

**Alcide Herveaux **wrote on** Bill Compton's **wall: Can we run on your land Tuesday night?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Make 'em bring the pooper scooper, Bill. I was scooping for days last month.

**Bill Compton**

Thanks, Sookie.

**Halleigh Bellefleur **posted on her own wall: Recipe for applesauce bread…

**Sookie Stackhouse**

SQUEEEE!

**Claudette Crane **was tagged in the album **In the Summerland. **

**Catfish Hennessy **wrote on** Hoyt Fortenberry's **wall: Bowling on Sat.?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Hey, wasn't your name Catfish Hunter in one of the earlier books?

**Catfish Hennessy**

What?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Never mind.

**Bill Compton** posted an article: "Mainstreaming for Vampires"

**The Ancient Pythoness**, **Hot Rain Jones**, and **14 others** like this.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Bill, you are a fart.

**Bill Compton**

I don't even know what that means.

**Steve Newlin**

Burn in Hell.

**Terry Bellefleur** added **Cambodia** to the **Places I've Been** application.

**Sookie Stackhouse** became a fan of **Merlotte's**, **Fangtasia**, and **Applebee's.**

**Terry Bellefleur** added **Grainger** and **Clarice** to the **Places I've Been** application.

**Barbara Beck** wrote on **Sookie Stackhouse's** wall: Isn't that your cousin on the cover of Lord Darlington's Naughty Marriage?

**Claude Crane**

Yes, that's me!

**Barbara Beck**

Would you autograph a copy for the library?

**Claude Crane**

Happy to! :D

**Alcide Herveaux** became a fan of **The** **Elk Killer Pack**.

**Patrick Furnan **likes this.

**Sam Merlotte**

They around here?

**Alcide Herveaux**

South Dakota

**Sam Merlotte**

Remind me not to shift into an elk if I'm ever in South Dakota.

**Jannalynn Hopper**

ROFLMAO

**Appius Livius Ocella** added **Alexei Romanov** to the group **My Vampire Spawn**.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Go, Grandpa!

**Amelia Broadway **Uh oh. Hangnail!

**A/N: Thank you to Seamstress for the Mainstreaming suggestion. Another reader pointed out that people unfamiliar with things like Facebook and twitter would appreciate an explanation of some of the abbreviations. She made a very good point. You can't get the joke if you don't know the terms. LOL is laugh out loud. ROFL is rolling on the floor laughing. ROFLMAO is rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. LMFAO is laughing my fucking ass off. LMFVAO is laughing my fucking Viking ass off. Did I miss any?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Appius Livius Ocella** found a pair of fangs on the floor while playing **Virtual Vampire Poker.**

**Betty Jo Pickard **and** Felicia Birnbaum **like this.

**Mark Stonebrook** posted a video: How to perform an ectoplasmic reconstruction.

**Marni "Hallow" Stonebrook**

Have you lost your mind? You posted that video?

**Mark Stonebrook**

It was already on youtube.

**Pam Ravenscroft** became a fan of **Connie the Corpse**.

**Eric Northman** likes this.

**Amelia Broadway **believe everything happens for a reason and put your trust in the universe.

**Copley Carmichael** and **Tyrese Marley** like this.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Shut up.

**Amy Ludwig **posted an article: "Treating Plasma Intolerance and other Vampire Blood Allergies"

**Isabelle Beaumont **and** 10 others** like this.

**View all 7 comments**

**Jason Stackhouse**

Vampire flatulence? Are ya'll kidding me?

**Amy Ludwig**

It's no joke. The fumes are toxic—can be fatal to small animals and children

**Hugo Ayers**

It's how we lost our Springer Spaniel.

**Jake Purifoy **took the quiz** What are you? **with the result**: **a Were and a vampire.

**Ray Don Hinkleton**

Dude, you can't be both! Lol

**Sookie Stackhouse **met the sun playing **Virtual Vampworld.**

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Wow. I suck at this. (get it? hahaha)

**Jason Stackhouse **shifted into a leopard and ate a goat playing** Virtual Wereworld.**

**Calvin Norris **added the profile badge** blogger.**

**Sookie Stackhouse **added Maenad to the** Supes I've Met **application.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Ya'll remember that night at the you-know-what?

**Eric Northman**

I will never forget it, dear one.

**Tara Thornton**

And I'll never forget the pink spandex! Lol

**Eric Northman**.

Fun times.

**Coby Fowler **drained a prostitute playing** Virtual Vampworld.**

**Eric Northman **likes this.

**Eric Northman** poked **Sookie Stackhouse**.

**Eric Northman**

LOL!

**Jason Stackhouse**

Seriously, stop it.

**The Fellowship of the Sun** posted a **poll**:

O Vampires should burn in hell.

O Vampires are Satan's offspring.

O The only good vampire is a finally dead vampire.

66,872 people voted.

**Bill Compton** joined the group **Descendants of the Glorious Dead**.

**Maxine Fortenberry** likes this.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

I thought you were the Glorious Dead.

**John Quinn**

LMFAO

**Sam Merlotte** posted a poll:

O Wednesday night should be ladies' night at Merlotte's.

O Thursday night should be ladies' night at Merlotte's.

4 people voted.

**Amelia Broadway **OMG Did ya'll see that sunrise this morning?

**Eric Northman**

No.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sookie Stackhouse** has been invited to the event **Tiger Vs. Grizzly Bear**.

Where: Arnold's fighting pit, Monroe, LA

When: Thursday 11 p.m.

Attire: Casual

**Sookie Stackhouse** wrote on **John Quinn's** wall: OMG, Quinn! Are you fighting again?

**John Quinn**

Yeah. Can you believe it? My mom got kidnapped last week.

**Frannie Quinn**

Sookie, where were you last Monday night?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Oh, please. As if!

**Eric Northman**

She was in my bed chamber, Frannie.

**John Quinn**

TMI!

**Tanya Grissom** wrote on **John Quinn's** wall: Who's the grizzly?

**John Quinn**

Some shifter from Birmingham. I think they have his niece.

**Colman Vanderhoosen **was tagged in the album **In the Summerland**.

**Jason Stackhouse**

Another cousin?

**Dermot Brigant**

No, Claudine's baby daddy.

**Maxine Fortenberry**

That's sweet that they vacation together.

**Arlene Fowler **has invited **Sookie Stackhouse** to join the cause **ALL VAMPS SHOULD BE STAKED THROUGH THE HEART**.

**Eric Northman**

Caps lock broken, Arlene? Lol

**Sam Merlotte **wrote on **Eric Northman's** wall: can I borrow Chow (or Clancy) Saturday night? I have a bartender out of town.

**Eric Northman**

Which one do you want?

**Sam Merlotte**

Oh, I thought they were the same guy. They seem interchangeable.

**Everett Chow**

Yeah, we get that a lot.

**Sookie Stackhouse** became a fan of **Fang**.

**Sookie Stackhouse** became a fan of **Dead Life**.

**Eric Northman** likes this.

**Sookie Stackhouse** became a fan of **The Bon Temps Bugle**.

**Eric Northman**

Shouldn't that read The Bon Temps Bungle?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Hahahahaha.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Is there an icon for eye-rolling?

**Terry Bellefleur** shifted into a unicorn and killed all his chickens playing **Virtual Wereworld**.

**Jason Stackhouse**

Hey, man, I don't think you're playing it right.

**Amelia Broadway**

I LOVE unicorns!

**Russell Edgington** became a fan of **Josephine's Bar**.

**Ebeneezer Hob** likes this.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Oh, hey, Mr. Hob! Remember me?

**Debbie Pelt**

Watch your back, bitch.

**Franklin Mott**

I remember you, darling.

**Eric Northman**

Watch your back, Mott.

**Bob Jessup** shifted into a housecat playing **Virtual Wereworld.**

**Sookie Stackhouse**

LOL, Bob!

**Bob Jessup**

I hate this game.

**Steve Newlin**

Burn in Hell.

**Bob Jessup**

I'm not a vampire, asshole.

**Steve Newlin**

Sorry. Scratch that.

**Neave Cooperton** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: a psychotic bitch.

**Lochlan Cooperton** likes this.

**A/N: Thanks to tvgirl (dot) nicole for the Clancy/Chow suggestion. OMG is oh my god. TMI is too much information. Just FYI. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Amelia Broadway** White with a hint of lace *wink, wink*

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how long ago that was?

**Al Cumberland** posted the album **The 2010 Fangtasia Calendar**.

**Marni "Hallow" Stonebrook** and **97 others** like this.

**Sookie Stackhouse **wrote on** Eric Northman's **wall: The calendar's out. Remember what we talked about, Eric. I'd better not see the GP!

**Eric Northman**

That's not what you said last night. LMFVAO!

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Is that V for Viking or Vampire? I never can remember.

**Hot Rain Jones**

What's a GP?

**Amelia Broadway** sent **Pam Ravenscroft** a **Virtual Gift**: a rainbow!

**Pam Ravenscroft**

You do realize those can't be seen at night, right?

**Amelia Broadway**

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!

**Pam Ravenscroft **became a fan of** Fangbangers of Area 5, Fangtasia, **and **shoes.**

**Tray Dawson **became a fan of** Barksdale Air Force Base **and** The Grabbit Kwik.**

**Pam Ravenscroft **slept in a coffin playing** Virtual Vampworld.**

**Pam Ravenscroft**

This game is for pussies.

**Amelia Broadway**

I love pussies!

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Finally, a comment I don't want to kill you for.

**Sookie Stackhouse** and **Tara Thornton** were tagged in the album **Lady Falcons**.

**Tara Thornton**

OMG, look how young we were!

**Eric Northman**

You look delicious, lover.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Too bad I couldn't have been turned back then! Lol!

**JB du Rone** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: an idiot

**Pam Ravenscroft** sent **Amelia Broadway** a **Virtual Gift**: a Were turd.

**Bob Jessup** likes this.

**The Ancient Pythoness** shifted into a hamster and became Packmaster playing **Virtual Wereworld**.

**Alcide Herveaux** joined the group **PETA**.

**Frannie Quinn** became a fan of **Extreme (ly Elegant) Events**.

**John Quinn** likes this.

**Clovache Zeerghtron** wrote on **John Quinn's** wall: Can EEE cater events in our dimension? My nephew has a bar mitzvah coming up.

**John Quinn**

Yes! I'll email you a brochure.

**The Fellowship of the Sun** posted an announcement on their wall: Don't miss our multi-family yard sale this weekend. Sat. & Sun. 9-3. All proceeds go to wiping vampire scum from the face of the earth.

**Sarah Newlin** and **54,812** others like this.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Too bad you don't have the balls to have it at night. Wonder why.

**Steve Newlin**

Burn in Hell.

**Claude Crane** became a fan of **In the Summerland** and **Hooligans**.

**Bill Compton** joined the group **Bon Temps Garden Society**.

**Halleigh Bellefleur** and **Barbara Beck** like this.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Are these women blowing you or something?

**Bill Compton**

I'm mainstreaming! Get off my back.

**A/N: Several of you asked if Eric meant Vampire or Viking in LMFVAO. I guess we'll never know. I think the first time I saw it was in a review from Night Orchid. (Maybe she knows.)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Lafayette Reynold** As your status today, guys: boxers or briefs? The briefest of briefs!

**John Quinn** COMMANDO

**Bill Compton **Boxers

**Eric Northman** boxer/briefs

**Marni "Hallow" Stonebrook** and **34 others** like this.

**Eric Northman**

Tomorrow they will be on ebay to raise money for charity.

**Lizbet McBean**

Win! (please don't wash them)

**Steve Newlin**

Ill gotten gains will send you all straight to hell.

**Arlene Fowler**

ICK! Vamp cooties!

**Bill Compton** got silver poisoning playing **Virtual Vampworld**.

**Eric Northman** slaughtered a fairy and got a blow job playing **Virtual Vampworld**.

**Lorena Ball** wrote on **Bill Compton's** wall: I've been trying to reach you for days. Pick up your phone!

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Hey, Bill, your mommy's calling you!

**John Quinn**

LOL!

**Niall Brigant** a thong. Would those count as briefs?

**Pam Ravenscroft**

MY EYES! MY EYES!

**Father Littrell** boxers

**Sarah Weiss** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: a law enforcement officer.

**Sookie Stackhouse** became a fan of **Tara's Togs** and **Walmart**.

**Sookie Stackhouse** added **Red Ditch** to the **Places I've Been** application.

**Felipe DeCastro** added **Reno **and** Marrakesh **to the **Places I've Been** application.

**Sookie Stackhouse** became a fan of **Buffy the Vampire Slayer** and **Charlaine Harris**.

**Amelia Broadway** sent **Pam Ravenscroft** a **Virtual Gift**: a spa day!

**Pam Ravenscroft**

How about a spa NIGHT, bitch?

**Amelia Broadway**

Of course! I'm sorry, Pam.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

During the day, I'm a slab of dead meat.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Then that's when you should schedule the bikini wax!

**Sandy Sechrest**

LOL!

**Bob Cataliades** legal briefs (get it? Hahaha!)

**Sid Matt Lancaster** and **Johan Glassport** like this.

**Cleo Babbitt** and **Arla Yvonne** joined the group **Vampire Sheriffs**.

**Eric Northman** likes this.

**Andre Paul** Bikini briefs

**Pam Ravenscroft**

TMI

**Sophie-Anne Leclerq**

Watch your tone, Pam.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

My apologies.

**Appius Livius Ocella** Boxers!

**Eric Northman** wrote on **Sookie Stackhouse's** wall: Have a meeting with Victor at midnight. Can I stop by before to get my hair braided?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Of course, sweetie!

**Eric Northman**

You always do it better than I can.

**Alcide Herveaux** wrote on **Sookie Stackhouse's** wall: Available Thursday night for a "meeting?"

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Don't think I'm up for it. Have to work Fri.

**Alcide Herveaux**

Won't keep you up too late

**Sookie Stackhouse**

I was hungover for 4 days last time. Btw, check your front bushes. They may need hosing down.

**Alcide Herveaux** posted an announcement on his wall: **Pack Shaman** **Wanted** (email me for details)

**Hot Rain Jones** briefs


	8. Chapter 8

**Alcide Herveaux** wrote on **Annabelle Bannister's** wall: OMG, last night I almost mounted a real wolf! From the back, she looked just like you!

**Annabelle Bannister**

Sweetie, this is public. Use that private message thingy like I showed you.

**Sandra Pelt**

ROFL

**Alcide Herveaux** has abjured **Sandra Pelt**.

**Sookie Stackhouse** became a fan of **Blue Moon Productions**.

**Sookie Stackhouse** wrote on **Sean Huffernoggin's** wall: I'd love to see you and Layla. Are you performing anywhere regularly?

**Sean Huffernoggin**

Not really. Layla hasn't been able to dance as much lately.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Is she okay?

**Sean Huffernoggin**

Her bunion surgeries won't stick now that she's turned. They just grow right back.

**Amy Ludwig**

Call me. I may be able to help.

**Sookie Stackhouse** is no longer friends with **Charles Twining**.

**Charles Twining** wrote on **Eric Northman's** wall: I don't know why Sookie's all bent out of shape. She got a new kitchen, didn't she?

**Eric Northman**

You are banned from Area 5, Twining. Show your face, and I'll make you a tea bag.

**Amelia Broadway** Where's the picture? What is your picture? What color is your sky? Is it bright and sunny or dark and gloomy? Do you even know?

**Pam Ravenscroft**.

Blah, blah, blah. I can't take it anymore.

**Pam Ravenscroft** is no longer friends with **Amelia Broadway**.

**Amelia Broadway** sent **Pam Ravenscroft** a **Virtual Gift**: a pair of Jimmy Choos.

**Amelia Broadway** sent **Pam Ravenscroft** a **Virtual Gift**: a bag from Gucci.

**Amelia Broadway** sent **Pam Ravenscroft** a **Virtual Gift**: a bag of O positive.

**Pam Ravenscroft** is now friends with **Amelia Broadway**.

**Eric Northman** wrote on **Sookie Stackhouse's** wall: Lover, can you stop by the bar tonight to read one of my suppliers?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Sorry, baby. I'm working tonight.

**Eric Northman**

*sad panda* (Maybe I'll just glamor him.)

**Steve Newlin**

Burn in Hell.

**Denise Rattray** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: white trash.

**Remy Savoy** is now friends with **Claude Crane**.

**Sigebert Smith** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: an illiterate stump.

**Sigebert Smith** wrote on **Pam Ravenscroft's** wall: Ggilfsarttsrtpt.

**Wybert Smith**

Bllllbursbshhp.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

WTF?

**Wybert Smith** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: an illiterate stump.

**Sookie Stackhouse** wrote on **Pam Ravenscroft's** wall: Hey, at least Sigebert and Wybert are making an effort.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Shouldn't they be on a leash or something? Jesus.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

I think they like you.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Lovely.

**Portia Bellefleur Vick** shifted into a kangaroo and pooped on the outback playing **Virtual Wereworld**.

**A/N: Thank you for suggestions from MAMZAR and Cutiekins. If you all want some additional free laughs, read the reviews for this. I'm still laughing at hearttorn's in which she confessed to abjuring a were-squirrel (but she suspects it may have just been a regular squirrel). And thank you to my friend, Serena, who wrote Amelia's little piece regarding the color of your sky. I just cut and pasted it from my own Facebook page. I kid you not. Eric's sad panda is for Sweet Sookie. WTF is what the fuck, btw.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sam Merlotte** became a fan of **The Crawdad Diner** and **Renard Parish Animal Shelter.**

**Pinkie Arnett **likes this.

**Charlsie Tooten **became a vampire queen playing** Virtual Vampworld.**

**Lafayette Reynold** became a vampire queen playing **Virtual Vampworld**.

**John Quinn** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: well-hung.

**John Quinn**

ALLRIGHT!

**Selah Pumphrey** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: a real estate agent.

**Batanya Fffumshoorton **posted the article: "Combining Online Dating with Multi-dimensional Travel."

**John Quinn** and **4 others** like this.

**Batanya Fffumshoorton**

Hey, Quinn, can you shift in our dimension?

**John Quinn**

Don't know. Let's find out?

**Hugo Ayers** became a fan of **Springer Spaniel Rescue of Greater Dallas**.

**Sookie Stackhouse** added **Betty Ford Elementary School** to her Schools.

**Alcide Herveaux** became a fan of **Frontline Plus Flea and Tick Control** and **Herveaux and Son, AAA Accurate Surveys**.

**Alexei Romanov** shifted into a whale and suffocated in an oil spill playing **Virtual Wereworld.**

**Alexei Romanov **took the quiz** What are you? **with the result: dead Russian royalty**.**

**Eric Northman **super-poked** Sookie Stackhouse.**

**Eric Northman**

Was it good for you? LMFVAO

**Sookie Stackhouse**

It was super-good, baby!

**Steve Newlin**

BIH

**Arlene Fowler**

Ditto.

**Felipe DeCastro** got a royal flush playing **Virtual Vampire Poker**

**Sandy Sechrest **likes this.

**Victor Madden** shifted into a tortoise and became road kill playing **Virtual Wereworld**.

**Sookie Stackhouse** posted on **John Quinn's** wall: Congratulations on winning the match against that grizzly bear!

**John Quinn**

Thanks, babe! I guess his niece is toast now. That sucks.

**Sookie Stackhouse**

Did you get your mom back?

**John Quinn**

Yes! (Until the next kidnapping! Lol!)

**Pam Ravenscroft** shifted into a mongoose and killed a cobra playing **Virtual Wereworld.**

**Amelia Broadway**

I LOVE mongooses! (Mongeese?)

**Wybert Smith**

MONGSE Frrsssfdgkit!

**Eric Northman** became a fan of **The BVA** and **ESN.**

**Sookie Stackhouse**

I know BVA is Bureau of Vampire Affairs. What's ESN?

**Eric Northman**

I'll show you later. (insert eyebrow-waggling icon here)

**Steve Newlin** burned in hell playing **Virtual Vampworld**.

**Eric Northman** and **32 others** like this.

**A/N: Thanks to hearttorn for suggesting the super-poke.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Jason Stackhouse **wrote on** Hoyt Fortenberry's **wall: Let's play hooky tomorrow. Wanna go fishing?

**Catfish Hennessy**

I'm on here, too, genius**.**

**Jason Stackhouse**

Never mind, Hoyt. Hey, Catfish.

**Amelia Broadway** became a fan of **Twilight**.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

*shakes head*

**Christian Baruch** invited **Pyramid of Gizeh Survivors** to the annual reunion.

Where: Silent Shore Hotel (Magnolia Room on the Mezzanine)

When: Sat. night 9 p.m.

Attire: Semi-formal

**Eric Northman** and **18 others** like this.

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Are you going, master?

**Eric Northman**

I wouldn't miss it!

**Pam Ravenscroft**

Bringing Sookie?

**Eric Northman**

Of course. It's BYOB. (Lol)

**Bill Compton** and **Judith Vardamon** are in a relationship.

**Sookie Stackhouse **wrote on her own wall: We raised $745 on ebay selling Eric's underwear! We're thinking of making it a weekly thing.

**Marni "Hallow" Stonebrook**

Can you do it daily?

**Tara Thornton**

What charity gets the money?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

We can pick a different one each week.

**Tara Thornton**

Who got it yesterday?

**Sookie Stackhouse**

A halfway house for new Twoeys and Deaders over in Homer. They helped Jason a lot.

**Bill Compton**

I teach a mainstreaming class over there on Tuesday nights.

**Pam Ravenscroft** became a fan of **Dear Abby** and **Anubis Air**.

**Barry Horowitz** bankrupted the casino playing **Virtual Vampire Poker**

**Sookie Stackhouse** likes this.

**Sarah Newlin **shifted into a meerkat and ate a centipede playing **Virtual Wereworld.**

**Catfish Hennessy** shifted into a catfish playing **Virtual Wereworld**.

**Eric Northman** and **6 others** like this.

**Sookie Stackhouse** added **Bon Temps, Louisiana** as her hometown.

**Eric Northman** added **the stand of trees west of** **Liegelotan **as his hometown.

**Amy Ludwig** posted an article: "Treating UTIs in Male Werecats"

**Calvin Norris**, **John Quinn,** and **4 others** like this.

**Batanya Fffumshoorton**

Is it contagious?

**Amy Ludwig**

Call me, Batanya.

**Bob Jessup** and **Amy Ludwig** are now friends.

**Sookie Stackhouse** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: the protagonist in a book series.

**Eric Northman** took the quiz **What are you?** with the result: what women want.

**Eric Northman** became a fan of **Fanfiction**.

**Suki59 **and** 2137 others** like this.

XXX

**A/N: I am working on getting this put in proper form and posting it on a blog for you guys. Sadly, I am techno-challenged, so I am depending on the generosity of someone with talents I don't possess. I'll let you know if and when I get this up in its correct and true glory. Thank you so much to all who reviewed and made suggestions. I thoroughly enjoyed all of them. We're a funny group of nuts.**


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